


Crackers Don't Matter

by December21st



Category: Castle
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-19
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/December21st/pseuds/December21st
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some dates just aren't all they're cracked up to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crackers Don't Matter

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Abuse of homonyms.
> 
> Response to the prompt "crack" for the "Squared" challenge at LiveJournal's Castleland.

"You ready to go, Beckett?" Castle asks as she lets him into her apartment. "Come on, let's get cracking! This date won't go on itself, you know."

Castle glances at the television, an animated clay character exclaiming "Cracking toast, Gromit!" while waving his hands about.

"What do you know about plumbing, Castle?" Beckett asks, heading back towards her kitchen. It's unpleasantly humid in the apartment in spite of the torrential downpour outside, and all of Beckett's windows are cracked open in an attempt to let in fresh air without letting in the rain.

"I know that my plumber loves cracking jokes while he works and probably makes more in a year than I do."

"My kitchen faucet has … issues. I think the seal is cracked. I called my landlord, and he sent his nephew to fix it. The kid shows up at the crack of dawn, high as a kite, making all sorts of wisecracks about plumbers and beautiful women, and tries to sell me crack cocaine."

"And how does your landlord feel about you arresting his nephew?"

"Not that mad, actually. Said it was about time someone cracked down on the kid. Gave me a loaf of his wife's cracked wheat bread as a weird thank-you gift."

"The easiest case you've ever cracked. Seems to me fixing your sink would have been a better gift."

"You would think, but he said something about his wife cracking the whip on getting some chores done around the house. It's just as well, because when he leaned over to check under the sink …"

"Something of a plumber's crack?"

"Remind me to boil my eyeballs later. Hey, were we going to see the movie about the safecracker, or the guy who cracks up after he spends a year by himself?"

"I forget. Which one has the guy who always cracks his knuckles?"

"Well, if it's the safecracker one, we have time to crack open a bottle of wine and you can tell me all your best naughty plumber jokes," Beckett tells Castle, cracking a smile.

"Why, Detective, whatever did you have in mind?" Castle asks, his voice cracking.


End file.
